But... why?

I've noticed a perplexing trend lately. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to generalize in this post, but of course I realize that this does not apply to all (and, I pray, most) guys.

Friends.

Seems like a simple enough concept. To me, friends are people who:

You like
You trust
Like you back

Of course there are all kinds of friend varieties (best, close, casual, acquaintance, etc.) but for the sake of this argument, we're only talking about the first three. As a girl, when a friendship takes a turn for the toxic, dramatic, or just plain crappy, there's usually a breakup. Sometimes it goes quietly into the night, with a steady reduction in communication. Other times it involves yelling, mascara-stained cheeks, and many a pillow decimated in the throes of frustration. And although we sometimes hold onto failing friendships (and hell, relationships) longer than we should, I don't know a single girl who hasn't gone through something like this.

Guys, however, are an entirely different, entirely baffling story.

The reasons guys keep certain people as friends is entirely beyond me. Recently I've encountered several very kind, fun, decent gentlemen who have... well, dickhead friends. If a girl has a friend who is a self-absorbed, unreliable asshole, chances are she'll eventually phase that friend out of her inner circle. Seems pretty logical, right? If a guy has a friend who is a self-absorbed, unreliable asshole, chances are he'll see him on Tuesday for some tacos and a brewski.

I get that most of these friendships start way back in elementary school, high school, or even college. What I don't get is why a guy will consider a complete douchebag a "friend" just because they ate paste together in preschool, or inhabited the same stuffy Spanish class in tenth grade.

Case in point - here is a conversation I had with a guy recently, touching on this subject:

"I'm going to hang out with [BLANK] on Saturday night."

"You mean [BLANK] from high school?"

"Yes."

"The same [BLANK] who you said was a total dick, and who you don't like?"

"Um, yeah."

"The same [BLANK] who you didn't even like when you were in high school together?"

"Yeah, same [BLANK]."

"So, remind me, why are you taking the time to hang out with him on Saturday?"

"He's my friend (?)"

Can someone please explain this phenomenon to me? I really truly want to understand! Guys are fully capable of forming functional, mature, fulfilling relationships (as evidenced by girlfriends, wives, and bromances everywhere), so why on earth do they seem to have higher standards for their beer cozies than they do their FRIENDS?

[RANT COMPLETE, COMMENTS WELCOME - THANKS FOR PLAYING]

A World of Hurt (Locker)

So the Oscars happened last night, complete with tears, cheers, and awkwardly hijacked speeches. There were amazing dresses (go Sandra Bullock/Maggie Gyllenhaal/Meryl Streep!) and some horrible ones (for god's sake, Jennifer Lopez, stop going out in public...)

There were some good jokes (Alec Baldwin stares silently, uncomfortably at George Clooney - everyone laughs without really knowing why), and some awful ones (Ben Stiller as Na'vi? Nice idea, but it probably was an idea better left in rehearsal.)

As always, there were some great speeches (once again, Sandra Bullock - Hollywood could learn a thing or two or twenty from your humility,) and some that I cringe to think about (well excuse me, Ms. Sandy Powell, why don't you go shove one of your other two Oscars up your pretentious ass?)

There were a couple cheap and worthless publicity stunts (named Kristen S. and Miley C., respectively.)

There was even a massive slap in the face to DP's across the world - Avatar for best cinematography? You have to be kidding me. I'm surprised the movie wasn't up for "Best Animated Feature."

That being said, there were a few bright spots. Those bright spots were the Best Director and Best Picture categories, which The Hurt Locker swept. And deservedly so. The Hurt Locker, in my mind, is without a doubt the best picture of the year. Don't worry, I'm not going to delve into a lengthy and didactic review, but suffice it to say it was so carefully crafted, so layered and subtle, that I honestly worried it would be overlooked in favor of hype, glitz, and money. It seems to be more rare that the movie that deserves Best Picture actually wins it. So this year I was happy with that outcome.

I was also really happy at the outcome for Best Director - I think Kathryn Bigelow totally deserved it. But when they announced that this was the first Best Director award to go to a woman I just though - wow... it took us to 2010? Not to go all feminist or anything, but there are third world countries who have elected female Prime Ministers for decades, and we JUST NOW have decided that a woman is capable of winning Best Director... that's pretty pathetic, no?

I'd say just keep that in mind next time anyone tries to pretend we live in a gender-blind society. So good for Kathryn and good for the academy for taking a step in a good direction. A baby step, but a step nonetheless.

I Love the Holidays...

I really do. I love the way pretty glowing lights appear on trees and houses. I love how the air inevitably smells more and more like crisp winter frost tinged with a hint of chimney smoke, even in a city where it rarely gets below 45. I love the sound of bells that infuse elevator musak and songs on the radio. I adore the smell of cinnamon, hot chocolate, and freshly baked gingerbread. Hell, I even enjoy the special lattes and massively sugary drink concoctions that pop up for a limited time on the Starbucks menu. Am I a consumer whore for Christmas? Probably. Totally.

But the part I love the most is the unspoken sense of warmth and gooeyness (like the inside of a half-baked cookie, all melty with chocolate) that envelopes people and their families during this time. I love the celebration of love. And I'm really really excited for my first Christmas as a wife :)

Now that I've gotten the mushy part out of the way, I want to share with you a little bit of pre-Christmas cheer (in the form of Shaun Peterson - a director/actor I work with.) Please enjoy my first foray into the realm of comedy on Take180.com!

http://www.take180.com/s/1eclnh?autoplay=true

Some Awe...

I try to reserve the word "awesome" for what truly fills me with amazement, joy and astonishment (more than some awe). To be honest, I'm not sure why the word "awful" describes something bad, because isn't awe a good thing? Why is having some awe good, but to be full of awe is bad? So by my understanding of the levels of awe, "awful" would be a step up from "awesome." But then what's at the bottom? What describes something horrendous, something terrible?

My new word proposal is thus: "Aweless."

"Aweless" could easily apply to something boring, mundane, or even horrific. And hey, in this ever changing modern world of grammatical and linguistic butchery, why not add my own little contribution?

But hey, I'm not here to talk about aweless things. I want to show you awful* things. (*note: my personal definition of 'awful) For the sake of clarity, however, be sure that this video I'm posting is the epitome of the classical understanding of the word "awesome."

LXD "Choices" Teaser from Jon M. Chu on Vimeo.

An epic dance webisode dedicated to telling an incredible story with human movement alone (no strings or special effects). And it's directed by Jon Chu. And the dancing is mind blowing. And it's beautifully shot. AWESOME!!!

Please, even if you don't have one rhythmic bone in your body - watch and enjoy!

Ps. The only context in which I can understand the classic relation between "awesome" and "awful" is this -- SOME cheesy enchilada is great, but FULL of cheesy enchilada is a digestive disaster. Take note...

The Awesome Wife

It's official -- I am Katherine Delaney Feldman! Well, I have been since September 13th, 2009, but it still makes me really excited to write it. I get even more excited when I have the chance to say it out loud.

So there it is. I now have the rest of my life to fulfill my vow of being "an awesome wife." Suggestions are welcome, since, you know, I've never done this before...

AND since official pictures from the wedding and the day after shoot will not be available for a few months, I thought I'd give a sneak preview, courtesy of our amazing wedding photographer Genevieve, of the photographic delights to come! Visit the link below to see a picture from our day after shoot at the Se Hotel in San Diego...

http://www.thewayweclick.com/blog/

Happy... Tuesday?

:)

Days Away...

The wedding is only five days away now! There have been a lot of questions about what's going through my head, and this was my first thought --

Never again will I have the chance to say "we have a slight rose petal situation..."

Cuckoo for GaGa

Today's post is all about guilty pleasures. Scratch that -- one guilty pleasure in particular. I cringe to say it and I cringe even more to write it, but I can't deny it. Lately, I'm loving Lady Gaga.

Yes, it's true. I hang my head in shame, but then I play the track "Paparazzi" and before long I'm bouncing off the walls. Her music is good for one thing and one thing only. Having fun. Her songs are completely vapid, lyrically. "I'm not bluffin' with my muffin"? "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick"? Umm.... we'll leave it at that.

But her beats are sick. Her electronic dance pop is utterly addicting and it's impossible (for the female gender at least) not to want to shake your booty. It may take a few listens to get past the ridiculousness of it all, (and the ridiculous nature of Lady Gaga's whole 'performance art' concept in general,) but when you do, you cross into a threshold of uninhibited fun.



And now, my one quick defense of the recording artist who beats out the Britney's of the world:
She can play the piano, and really fucking sing. Need proof? Watch an acoustic version of Poker Face on youtube. Preferably the performance she did on a Japanese show. The one where she's wearing an elephant on her head...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0WY2dVUyyY

Black Holes and Revelations

SO.

There's quite a lot going on in the world it seems. A possible revolution in Iran. A continually crumbling economy. A gradual decline in pretty much all of the world's resources while the population gradually explodes, despite our continual attempts to wipe each other out. There is still, after centuries of fighting over the 'Holy Land,' no peace in sight. There is still hunger and poverty despite the efforts of bleeding hearts and those who regularly appear on the 'Best Dressed List.' Then there's Kim Jong Il (he may be a psychotic murderous bastard, but man he rocks those shades!)

And the cherry on top?

Twitter.

I feel like Twitter is a cornerstone in the decline of society as a whole. Yeah, sure, people are touting Twitter as an integral tool for communication coming out of censored places such as Iran, some even go so far as to say that Twitter is making the 'revolution' possible. To those people, I say: are you fucking kidding me?

Okay, yes Twitter has allowed greater volume of communication to the outside world via internet in a time where information is in a lockdown. But how can anyone fail to recognize that what makes a revolution possible is people? The people marching, fighting, demonstrating, and dying are what make the difference. Also that hat is pretty awesome. I'm pretty sure that hat made a difference somehow.


The French were able to pull off a revolution without the use of Twitter. They maybe got a little more excited about the guillotine than they needed to, but hey, to each revolution its own. Let's not give credit where credit is not due, that's all I'm saying.

Also, Twitter was not invented with revolution in mind. Please! Twitter was invented to make money off of narcissistic twits (yes, pun intended) who are so self-absorbed and disconnected that they feel the need to post every facet of their generally boring lives on a public forum so they can feel more important. To any rabid Twitterers out there.... yeah I don't apologize. I see the benefit of it in incredibly rare situations, (such as finding out what's on the menu at the delicious Indian restaurant Samosa House..... mmmmmm..... jackfruit and yogurt curry.....) but on the whole, it's just another tool for tools.

When I get into a nihilistic mood, as I often do when I think about twitter, it makes me feel better knowing that our whole galaxy will be sucked into a black hole in about 10 million years.

Oh, and kittens. Kittens make me feel better. Especially kittens named 'Monkey' and 'Bear'

Ahh, the glamorous life!

Hollywood ASST from Back of the Class on Vimeo.

JOLIE VS. SULEMAN

Sorry boys, this is not about a mud-wrestling match (but how awesome would that be!) It's about kids. And nature. And dumb fucks (pardon my french.)

I'm sure by now you've heard of the California woman Nadya Suleman, the woman of the octuplets. And you've probably heard that she already has six young kids. You may have even heard that this single mom also has no job, lives in a 2 bedroom house with her parents (who have gone bankrupt trying to support her,) and had all her kids through in-vitro fertilization. All I have to say is, WTF?

Seriously, wtf.

There are reasons that there are a whole series of hoops to jump through and qualifications to meet in order to adopt a child. If someone can't support a kid, they don't get a baby-hand-out.

So why does someone who is jobless and living in a 2 bedroom house with her parents and existing 6 kids get IN-VITRO so she can feed her bizarre obsession with EIGHT MORE KIDS! This is not about attacking an "unconventional lifestyle" as Suleman complained. Bitch, please. This is about total and utter irresponsibility for the sake of overly indulgent self-gratification. It's one thing for Angelina Jolie (who could buy a country) to have and adopt a bunch of kids. She can support a freaking army. But Nadya? Come on.

What happens, Nadya, when the diaper handouts run out? What happens when your 8 premature babies start having health problems? What happens when you realize you can't stuff 14 kids into a 2 bedroom home (that you share with your freaking bankrupt parents! I'm sure they're proud...) What happens when you can't divide your attention among numbers 1-14? What happens when you realize you can't support 14 children off a counselor's salary? What happens if you don't get a job? Cause the economy is so hot right now... What happens when you realize you have serious fucking issues and both you and your kids are going to need major psychological help? What happens then, huh?

It's the 14 stigmatized kids that are going to have to pay for their irresponsible mother's self-absorbed complex. Way to go, you dumb fuck.

No Country for Old (hateful) Men...

I was trying to think of a clever way to preface this, but it speaks for itself...



Watch Olbermann OWN that Dick Cheney.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/06/olbermann-special-comment_n_164603.html

ENGAGED!!!!!

Yes, I'm engaged to the love of my life :)

You know what they say about pictures...


(He proposed at the top of a snowy mountain! Top that!)

What Bagel Are You?

My musical theater teacher in high school once said "it's important to know what kind of bagel you are. You have to play to your strengths."



Of course, he was talking about acting roles -- not trying to be the leading lady if you're the best friend, or the angel if you're the vixen -- but lately I've been thinking about the bagel philosophy. And if it goes beyond roles. How many of us know what kind of bagel we are? How many really care?

I'm sure we'd all like to say we can be anything we want. We can be the vixen, the sweetheart, the sidekick, the star... right? I'm not saying people aren't complicated and multi-faceted, but I think sometimes we spend too much time crafting who we want to be at any given moment, and not enough time just being whoever it is we were made to be. If you're the girl-next-door, well, own it. If you're a total geek, own it. Whatever it is, just own it. Stop trying so hard.

I hate to simplify things because I strongly believe this world is many shades of grey, but what if we all stopped worrying so much about appearances and perceptions and stigmas? What if we could just recognize what we are -- whatever that may be -- and work with it? What if I could stop spouting cliches? That would be pretty cool, huh?

So, cheesy question -- what kind of bagel are you?

Palin is the Antichrist

You would think she is running for president, with all the media circus that erupted since her vice presidential nomination. Maybe it's driven by the (frightening) thought that "President Palin" is a legitimate possibility, due to McCain's age. Are you scared? You should be.

Now I don't generally endorse fear tactics in politics, since it tends to yield a pathetic and narrow-minded result. But I endorse common sense. And my common sense dictates that the McCain/Palin ticket is the stuff of nightmares.

The only difference between Sarah Palin and an 18th century man is a vagina.

Now, there are some feminists out there who support Palin because she is a woman who has infiltrated the "boy's club" and garnered herself some serious power. Are you serious? I'm not sure which is worse, a single-issue voter or a single-gender voter. I wonder, do those same so-called "feminists" think that a 13 year old girl who was raped should be forced to have that baby? Do those "feminists" think that the right to choose only should apply when you choose life?

Granted, the choice of Sarah Palin as VP is a work of evil genius. The amount of attention dedicated to her has totally revived McCain's otherwise somewhat lackluster campaign. Although some people are fascinated by her in an amusing sort of way, a frightening number seems to actually buy into all her - for lack of a more appropriate term - bullshit.

After eight years of Bush, I thought we as a country were as low as we could get. I may have thought wrong. It's like the American people asked God, "Can we as a country be a bigger joke?" Apparently the answer was "yes."

Some people love to laugh at her utter ridiculousness. Some people love her. And for what reason? It's beyond me, really.

She's. A. Fucking. Joke.

A funny joke, for a while, until you realize people take her seriously. Why not? Why not elect a vp with basically no foreign relation experience to repair our severly damaged world reputation? Why not get someone who doesn't believe in global warming and wants to drill in Alaska to lead us into a "greener" age. Fuck the polar bears! My state isn't melting! Why not give someone with a pregnant teenage daughter the power to destroy sex-ed in schools? Obviously all the money she poured into the abstinence-only programs worked wonders! Why not elect someone who ran her state into significant debt to fix the crumbling economy? Why not ease up on gun laws? There are only a few school shootings a week -- that's pretty good, right? Why not give someone who is interested in banning books the vice presidency of the United States? Our illiteracy rate isn't total shit!

Why not, you ask? Because the McCain/Palin ticket is the Bridge to Abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.

Update - THE WORLD HASN'T ENDED!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1668971.ece