But... why?

I've noticed a perplexing trend lately. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to generalize in this post, but of course I realize that this does not apply to all (and, I pray, most) guys.

Friends.

Seems like a simple enough concept. To me, friends are people who:

You like
You trust
Like you back

Of course there are all kinds of friend varieties (best, close, casual, acquaintance, etc.) but for the sake of this argument, we're only talking about the first three. As a girl, when a friendship takes a turn for the toxic, dramatic, or just plain crappy, there's usually a breakup. Sometimes it goes quietly into the night, with a steady reduction in communication. Other times it involves yelling, mascara-stained cheeks, and many a pillow decimated in the throes of frustration. And although we sometimes hold onto failing friendships (and hell, relationships) longer than we should, I don't know a single girl who hasn't gone through something like this.

Guys, however, are an entirely different, entirely baffling story.

The reasons guys keep certain people as friends is entirely beyond me. Recently I've encountered several very kind, fun, decent gentlemen who have... well, dickhead friends. If a girl has a friend who is a self-absorbed, unreliable asshole, chances are she'll eventually phase that friend out of her inner circle. Seems pretty logical, right? If a guy has a friend who is a self-absorbed, unreliable asshole, chances are he'll see him on Tuesday for some tacos and a brewski.

I get that most of these friendships start way back in elementary school, high school, or even college. What I don't get is why a guy will consider a complete douchebag a "friend" just because they ate paste together in preschool, or inhabited the same stuffy Spanish class in tenth grade.

Case in point - here is a conversation I had with a guy recently, touching on this subject:

"I'm going to hang out with [BLANK] on Saturday night."

"You mean [BLANK] from high school?"

"Yes."

"The same [BLANK] who you said was a total dick, and who you don't like?"

"Um, yeah."

"The same [BLANK] who you didn't even like when you were in high school together?"

"Yeah, same [BLANK]."

"So, remind me, why are you taking the time to hang out with him on Saturday?"

"He's my friend (?)"

Can someone please explain this phenomenon to me? I really truly want to understand! Guys are fully capable of forming functional, mature, fulfilling relationships (as evidenced by girlfriends, wives, and bromances everywhere), so why on earth do they seem to have higher standards for their beer cozies than they do their FRIENDS?

[RANT COMPLETE, COMMENTS WELCOME - THANKS FOR PLAYING]