Palin is the Antichrist

You would think she is running for president, with all the media circus that erupted since her vice presidential nomination. Maybe it's driven by the (frightening) thought that "President Palin" is a legitimate possibility, due to McCain's age. Are you scared? You should be.

Now I don't generally endorse fear tactics in politics, since it tends to yield a pathetic and narrow-minded result. But I endorse common sense. And my common sense dictates that the McCain/Palin ticket is the stuff of nightmares.

The only difference between Sarah Palin and an 18th century man is a vagina.

Now, there are some feminists out there who support Palin because she is a woman who has infiltrated the "boy's club" and garnered herself some serious power. Are you serious? I'm not sure which is worse, a single-issue voter or a single-gender voter. I wonder, do those same so-called "feminists" think that a 13 year old girl who was raped should be forced to have that baby? Do those "feminists" think that the right to choose only should apply when you choose life?

Granted, the choice of Sarah Palin as VP is a work of evil genius. The amount of attention dedicated to her has totally revived McCain's otherwise somewhat lackluster campaign. Although some people are fascinated by her in an amusing sort of way, a frightening number seems to actually buy into all her - for lack of a more appropriate term - bullshit.

After eight years of Bush, I thought we as a country were as low as we could get. I may have thought wrong. It's like the American people asked God, "Can we as a country be a bigger joke?" Apparently the answer was "yes."

Some people love to laugh at her utter ridiculousness. Some people love her. And for what reason? It's beyond me, really.

She's. A. Fucking. Joke.

A funny joke, for a while, until you realize people take her seriously. Why not? Why not elect a vp with basically no foreign relation experience to repair our severly damaged world reputation? Why not get someone who doesn't believe in global warming and wants to drill in Alaska to lead us into a "greener" age. Fuck the polar bears! My state isn't melting! Why not give someone with a pregnant teenage daughter the power to destroy sex-ed in schools? Obviously all the money she poured into the abstinence-only programs worked wonders! Why not elect someone who ran her state into significant debt to fix the crumbling economy? Why not ease up on gun laws? There are only a few school shootings a week -- that's pretty good, right? Why not give someone who is interested in banning books the vice presidency of the United States? Our illiteracy rate isn't total shit!

Why not, you ask? Because the McCain/Palin ticket is the Bridge to Abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.

Update - THE WORLD HASN'T ENDED!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1668971.ece

Science... MONDAY!

Hey everyone,

For anyone else who is the least bit curious about the universe (yes, the universe -- if you're not curious, you should be!) here is a brief update on the super-collider-thingamajiggy that's either going help us figure out the big bang and dark matter, or blow us all to oblivion. Okay, maybe "oblivion" is a little fatalistic...



http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/09/08/lhc.collider/index.html

Word Nerd

I have an ongoing fascination with the story of the Donner Party. Just recently, Jesse and I watched the Ric Burns documentary about the doomed travelers, and I noticed something. A word. A word that was used A LOT in the documentary that you don't hear every day anymore.

"Perish."

I think "Perish" is a great word. Derivatives of "Perish" are good too. It's so dramatic and a little old-fashioned sounding. I have thus determined to bring "Perish" to our modern lingo in a viral way. And hell, who needs to stick to conventional linguistic definitions? The word is too good not to use for just about anything.

"Dude, what the hell happened at Mike's party last night?"
"I don't know man, I was fucking perished!"

"Um, Mitch, what happened to the last frozen pizza?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was mine. I perished it."

"God, I'm so exhausted tonight."
"I know, I just kinda want to perish in front of the TV for a while."

"What happened to the Donners?"
"Um, they perished."

So go ahead, spread it. Spread it in the tender, viral way that a whore spreads her legs. Now go forth, and perish... in a good way... sorta...

Holy Awesome Crap

If you value love, peace, and laughter, I have a link for you. If you are one of those people who lists "love" "peace" and "laughter" as interests on your facebook page, you are a moron. Stop being a moron.

If you also value raunchiness it's even better.

http://www.punchrobert.com/#vids

Go to Carnival Performances to start with. Then I recommend Dancer Face. After that, work your way through at your own delicious leisure...

DING DING DING DA DING DING DA DING DING

Oh Nepotism!

I just wanted to spread the love (and the nuttiness) of this other blogger who goes by "Patricia" on occasion....

http://fourteen20.blogspot.com/

Uh... WTF?

It is a crazy crazy litigious world we live in. I saw this little news piece while browsing The Week (news digest, yum!)


A New York man who disappeared after being indicted for having sex with minors is suing American Express for alerting police to his whereabouts. James Colliton, 44, says the company violated his privacy by telling authorities that his credit card had been used in Ontario, Canada, where he was arrested. Colliton later pleaded guilty to raping two underage girls, but is seeking $4 million in damages from American Express. “When people stop violating my rights,” he said, “that’s when I will stop filing lawsuits.”

Ummmmmmm, seriously?
"When people stop violating my rights..."
How about when you stop violating underage girls, the cops will stop chasing you..... or when you stop putting your junk in unwanted places.... how about that? How about don't be a perv? Hm? Can we try that?

This country is so lawsuit crazy to begin with it is kind of sickening. Someone told me recently that the leftover food from the buffets in Vegas that go to the trash are doused with bleach. Why? Because apparently if someone eats some of that food out of the trash, and gets sick, the hotel can actually get sued. Another WTF! If you're eating out of the trash in the first place, what do you really expect? All that food..... so tragic....

Some Good Listening...

To diffuse the bomb I dropped last post, here's a little easy-in-a-kickass-ninja-way listening to tame the beast, calm the nerves, and maybe inspire some comfort in this wild world where sagging pants are outlawed (wassap Flint, MI) and batty old codgers leave millions in inheritance to their pooches (Leona Helmsley, you are crazy bitch.)

MUSIC "IN MY WORLD" NEWS

I'd like to present to you, my friend, the very talented (and well-groomed):

JONATHAN DENMARK

Thank You For Being A Friend from Jonathan Denmark on Vimeo.

Jon is great with an acoustic guitar (for those looking for some beauty in the world) and a burgeoning master of experimental rap (for those looking for some organized chaos)

He is pretty much responsible for one of the best things to ever happen to me, AND, he once said (based on a scientific study of the perception of joy and acceptance in a person's life,) "in about three months, you are going to be happy. DEAL WITH IT."

His website is www.jonathandenmark.com

And to check him out further, he's going to be playing at the Universal Bar and Grill on Sunday the 27th at 8pm. A bunch of really awesome people will be there, so, uh, you should too....

IN OTHER "MUSIC IN MY WORLD" NEWS

I have just discovered Liam Finn. And he is fantastic. He recently toured with Jon Brion and has a unique sound and kickass talent. And he will be lightning. And so will you.

http://www.liamfinn.tv/

Seriously. Check it out.

PEACE!

H-BOMB!

Hi.

I understand that in this post I will most likely incur the insufferable wrath of film students, indie enthusiasts, and Wes Anderson fans worldwide.  To be honest, the latter scares me the most.  (They're everywhere!!!)  But I feel that I must state the truth, as I know it, or I am not being true.... to, uh..... myself......

I. Think. Rushmore. Is Overrated.

THERE!  I said it.  Yes.  I think Rushmore is overrated.  I have seen it several times, at several points in my life.  And while I do believe it is good, I believe the movie Rocket Science is better.  More emotionally thorough.  More realistic.  More identifiable.  More universal.  

Rocket. Science. Is. Better.

(In my opinion.....)

So go ahead, have at me, Wes Anderson Wannabes and Indie Film Champions, and all those who (for a reason kind of unknown to me) hail Rushmore as a "Great" movie -- I no longer fear your wrath.  I just want you to start getting used to the idea that not everyone LOVES Rushmore.  It is "good."  It is not "great."

Ok.  I said it.  Now get over it.  And rent Rocket Science.  And don't kill me.  I own knives.....

Surviving the Apocalypse...

We've all seen them.  The tidal waves.  The volcanos.  The asteroids.  Yes, I'm talking about the disaster movies.  There's something perversely fascinating about watching New York leveled in a 400 foot tidal wave (Deep Impact) or Los Angeles smothered in volcanic goo (Volcano, duh..) 

But the best part about a disaster movie is the lesson we take away from it. And no, I'm not talking about reconciliation and accepting your fate.  Fuck that.  I want to LIVE!  And after watching each of these movies enough times, I finally know how.

KEYS TO SURVIVAL:

1. Have a bike.  Not a bicycle -- a serious motorbike that can handle rough terrain, steep hills, and outrun a speeding tsunami.

2.  Have a kid.  Or a dog.  Or a spouse you took for granted for years and still need to reconcile with.  Just something to live for.  This one is a bit of a gamble, because sometimes the tear-jerk factor for such a character is too high to resist killing them off, but you generally have a better chance if the universe (or audience) looks at you in a favorable light.  

3.  Have an extensive knowledge of something esoteric.  If you are an expert in a rare form of botany or string theory, you are not only likely to make it (for what exact reason, I'm not exactly sure,) but you will also be looked upon as a commodity.  

4.  DON'T follow the crowds.  In the event of an asteroid, or alien invasion, think outside the box.

5.  Don't be a dick.  Assholes get their due.  Generally it involves trying to climb over a pregnant woman for a ride in the last helicopter out of town, which inevitably crashes.  So just keep that in mind.

6.  That said, don't be a pussy.  Someone who sits and cries when thing gets tough is more likely to get killed just because.  No one likes a whiner.

Just take these lessons to heart and you are sure to survive the next apocalyptic event.  Minus Zombies.  Those fuckers are different case entirely...

Things You Don't Hear Every Day...

"She had the calves of a crazy person..."

"If you were the guy, who just did what you did, what would you say to yourself?"

"I'll sic my pet scabies on her..."

"It's the worst thing in a book if someone feels a lump. What happened to good ol' consumption?"

"You gotta get on the straight 'n narrow, Chewy knows the way..."

Unacceptable....

I know there's a ridiculous laundry list of injustices in this world, but right alongside of headlines about "honor killings," this makes my blood boil. Where's the outrage?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/06/19/darfur.rape/index.html

IndoYOU!

So I've been slacking lately on the whole blog thing. My bad. Change is afoot -- I'm moving on from my current job to be a writer's assistant at an awesome company. Very excited.

ANYWAY

For my first posting after a brief hiatus, I decided to write about something I think about, dream about, and care about a lot. Food. I bring to you, the hungry masses, INDOMIE!!!!

We've all had ramen. Or cup'o'noodles. Or some variation thereof. It's not exactly bad for you, but some college students actually got scurvy for eating nothing but. It taste's okay, if you like shredded cardboard soaked in corn oil. Or if you spent your parent's "care-package" money on six-packs instead of six-grain bread. My point is, if you're tummy is gonna slum it, you may want to slum it with some taste. That's where Indomie comes in.

For those of you who don't know, I grew up mostly in Sri Lanka and Indonesia. In Sri Lanka I discovered egg hoppers. In Indonesia I discovered Indomie.

Indomie is basically just Indonesian ramen: dry noodles, flavoring, picture of questionable-looking food on the packet. But for some reason, Indomie is fantastic. It has more flavor. Better flavor. Do yourself a favor, and don't take my word for it. I'm just a humble believer.

You want real great food? Go to a restaurant. You want real good food for 65 cents? Have some Indomie. Preferably with a fried egg mixed in. Seriously, it's delicious. You want scurvy? Well, you know what to do.

SCIENCE FRIDAY!

The New York Times:

Monkeys Think, Moving Artificial Arm as Own

By BENEDICT CAREY
Published: May 29, 2008

Two monkeys with tiny sensors in their brains have learned to control a mechanical arm with just their thoughts, using it to reach for and grab food and even to adjust for the size and stickiness of morsels when necessary, scientists reported on Wednesday.

"The reality of this is so remarkable. The potential impact, in terms of quality of life for amputees and patients with spinal cord damage, is awesome."Ron, Chicago

The report, released online by the journal Nature, is the most striking demonstration to date of brain-machine interface technology. Scientists expect that technology will eventually allow people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives.

The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not practical, are at least technically within reach.

In previous studies, researchers showed that humans who had been paralyzed for years could learn to control a cursor on a computer screen with their brain waves and that nonhuman primates could use their thoughts to move a mechanical arm, a robotic hand or a robot on a treadmill.

The new experiment goes a step further. In it, the monkeys’ brains seem to have adopted the mechanical appendage as their own, refining its movement as it interacted with real objects in real time. The monkeys had their own arms gently restrained while they learned to use the added one.

Experts not involved with the study said the findings were likely to accelerate interest in human testing, especially given the need to treat head and spinal injuries in veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.

“This study really pulls together all the pieces from earlier work and provides a clear demonstration of what’s possible,” said Dr. William Heetderks , director of the extramural science program at the National Institute of Biomedical Imaging and Bioengineering. Dr. John P. Donoghue, director of the Institute of Brain Science at Brown University, said the new report was “important because it’s the most comprehensive study showing how an animal interacts with complex objects, using only brain activity.”

The researchers, from the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University, used monkeys partly because of their anatomical similarities to humans and partly because they are quick learners.

In the experiment, two macaques first used a joystick to gain a feel for the arm, which had shoulder joints, an elbow and a grasping claw with two mechanical fingers.
Then, just beneath the monkeys’ skulls, the scientists implanted a grid about the size of a large freckle. It sat on the motor cortex, over a patch of cells known to signal arm and hand movements. The grid held 100 tiny electrodes, each connecting to a single neuron, its wires running out of the brain and to a computer.

The computer was programmed to analyze the collective firing of these 100 motor neurons, translate that sum into an electronic command and send it instantaneously to the arm, which was mounted flush with the left shoulder.

The scientists used the computer to help the monkeys move the arm at first, essentially teaching them with biofeedback.

After several days, the monkeys needed no help. They sat stationary in a chair, repeatedly manipulating the arm with their brain to reach out and grab grapes, marshmallows and other nuggets dangled in front of them. The snacks reached the mouths about two-thirds of the time — an impressive rate, compared with earlier work.

The monkeys learned to hold the grip open on approaching the food, close it just enough to hold the food and gradually loosen the grip when feeding.

On several occasions, a monkey kept its claw open on the way back, with the food stuck to one finger. At other times, a monkey moved the arm to lick the fingers clean or to push a bit of food into its mouth while ignoring a newly presented morsel.

The animals were apparently freelancing, discovering new uses for the arm, showing “displays of embodiment that would never be seen in a virtual environment,” the researchers wrote.
“In the real world, things don’t work as expected,” said the senior author of the paper, Dr. Andrew Schwartz, a professor of neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh. “The marshmallow sticks to your hand or the food slips, and you can’t program a computer to anticipate all of that.

“But the monkeys’ brains adjusted. They were licking the marshmallow off the prosthetic gripper, pushing food into their mouth, as if it were their own hand.”

The co-authors were Meel Velliste, Sagi Perel, M. Chance Spalding and Andrew Whitford.
Scientists have to clear several hurdles before this technology becomes practical, experts said. Implantable electrode grids do not generally last more than a period of months, for reasons that remain unclear.

The equipment to read and transmit the signal can be cumbersome and in need of continual monitoring and recalibrating. And no one has yet demonstrated a workable wireless system that would eliminate the need for connections through the scalp.

Yet Dr. Schwartz’s team, Dr. Donoghue’s group and others are working on all of the problems, and the two macaques’ rapid learning curve in taking ownership of a foreign limb gives scientists confidence that the main obstacles are technical and, thus, negotiable.

In an editorial accompanying the Nature study, Dr. John F. Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, argued that after such bugs had been worked out, scientists might even discover areas of the cortex that allow more intimate, subtle control of prosthetic devices.
Such systems, Dr. Kalaska wrote, “would allow patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences.”

*for a cool video demonstration, visit the link to the article on the NYTimes site: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?scp=1&sq=monkeys+think&st=nyt

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Honey Packet Update

Rumor:

Honey fights spice. CONFIRMED

Rumor:

It's delicious. CONFIRMED

Rumor:

Aids in escape from Egyptian Jail. WAITING ON CONFIRMATION FROM SPECIAL AGENT TAMI. FULL REPORT EXPECTED AT KICKBALL GAME TONIGHT