So wrong...

This will probably be all over the news. Personally, I think it's really f***ed

http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24513

Paving the way for ManBearPig...

Interesting stuff.....

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/birth-of-a-debate-mancow-hybrid-embryo-creates-row/62665-11.html

A typical day at the office.....

I work at an agency. I'd like to say it's not your typical office environment, but I've never worked at any other office so I really couldn't say.

"WHERE'S THAT MEMO?"

"What memo?"

"The one I told you to do, to that guy..."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"I told you do do it!"

"I'm sorry, you didn't tell me to do a memo, but I can have it done in no time."

"I DEFINITELY told you to do it."

"No, but I can do it right away if you-"

"YES, I DID tell you, do you have hearing problems?"

"No."

"Then why the f*** is it not on my desk?"

"Uh, you never told me?"

"If I think I told you, then I did."

"oh........right........."


Here, logic prevails!

Since when.....

So I was walking back from lunch in beverly hills the other day when I saw a cute little baby, all wobbly on her feet like a miniature drunk, who had one of those child-leashes on. I've seen those before, (at theme parks, usually, with the trail of children like a sad little train,) but what disturbed me was that the other end of this toddler's leash was tied to the bottom of a chair. In front of the entry to a busy starbucks. Her mother was sitting in the chair having a chat and a carefree 97 degree non-fat venti double shot dash of soy vanilla latte, not noticing her baby almost get smashed by the swinging door of the coffee shop. It wasn't until a little poodle knocked the kid over (which was kind of funny) and she started crying that the mother, irritated that she'd been interrupted, set the kid upright, cooed at her a bit, then went right back to her conversation.

Since when did kids become accessories?

God, a baby would really go well with this new Prada ensemble...

(on a completely separate note, here's a little guilt-free way to waste some time: http://www.freerice.com/)

This pretty much sums it up...

Uncommon Misconception....

When I was a kid, I thought eczma was a skin condition where some kind of bug crawls under your skin and lays disgusting little bug eggs that hatch and make your skin all itchy.

I also though the undertoe at the beach was some kind of invisible rogue wave that would violently snatch you away out to sea when you weren't paying attention.

And when I was really young, I thought that people who lived in ancient times didn't have any modern feelings or advanced thought. I know that everything in history says otherwise, but I secretly imagined them grunting at each other like cavemen.

You know you're spoiled when...

you walk out of a public restroom and wonder why the toilet hasn't automatically flushed....

A little perspective....

Likely? Probably not. Fascinating? Hells yeah!

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/03/29/europe/physics.php

And if you liked that, prepare to get blown out of your socks....... and not by an American Idol contestant....... sorry if that disappoints you......

http://www.mkaku.org/

sometimes even though you have all the puzzle pieces, all put together, you wonder why you're looking at a blank space 

Something I love....

Extra sweet english tea, toast with butter and strawberry jam, cuddled up on the couch watching southpark on a saturday morning

:)

S'not Funneeeee.....

When I smacked into the bathroom door at work yesterday (didn't push the handle down far enough but tried to run through anyway,) it reminded me of something I love.  

I love it when someone is in a really heated argument or steaming mad and then they accidentally hurt themselves.  There are few things funnier than a furious klutz.

(a good listen: "Sovay" - Andrew Bird)

Virginia is for Lovers?

In case anyone is as concerned about this grossly incorrect catch-phrase as I am, let me clear it up once and for all. Virginia. Is. Not. For. Lovers.

Literally.

It is illegal to fornicate in the state of Virginia if you are not, in fact, married.

Apparently, when the Martin and Woltz agency was trying to come up with a slogan for Virginia tourism back in 1968, they went through several concepts including "VA is for Mountain Lovers," or "Virginia is for History Lovers." In the end, they thought these all too qualifying, so what did they do? They got lazy and left it at "lovers." Nice.

The most romantic thing about Virginia are the cherry blossoms in spring, and really that's DC's claim to fame, so it technically doesn't even apply. Some people tout colonial Williamsburg as "romantic." If you happen to find disneyland-priced cornbread and desperate-for-cash-costume-wearing-college-students romantic, well then, get excited!

If Martin and Woltz weren't liars, they would have kept the "history" in there.

So, all you lovers, Virginia doesn't want you. The law says so. Don't ask me how I know this.

something to think about....

on a number of levels.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/04/03/angola.landmine/index.html

I dream in irony....

Last night I dreamt that Mitch, Jesse and I labored intensively to repair and clean my dirty, busted up old buick. We got all the dents out, washed, waxed, the whole nine yards -- I was so proud. Then Jesse had to move his car, which was, for some reason, right next to mine. In doing so, he accidentally rammed into the front of the car, completely destroying my light and taking off part of the front bumper. Mitch and I were aghast, but when Jesse got out of the car, he was laughing so hard he fell on the ground, where he continued to laugh until he peed his pants.

I woke up this morning thinking that this was a funny and ironic dream, but I'm not sure now whether I should wash and clean my car (like I had been planning,) or if someone is trying to tell me not to bother...

kickball lessons for life....

1. If you don't kick the ball, you fuck everyone
2. If you backflip on the field, you are an asshole
3. Dance
4. Don't shave your biceps. Seriously.