Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Word Nerd


I have an ongoing fascination with the story of the Donner Party. Just recently, Jesse and I watched the Ric Burns documentary about the doomed travelers, and I noticed something. A word. A word that was used A LOT in the documentary that you don't hear every day anymore.

"Perish."

I think "Perish" is a great word. Derivatives of "Perish" are good too. It's so dramatic and a little old-fashioned sounding. I have thus determined to bring "Perish" to our modern lingo in a viral way. And hell, who needs to stick to conventional linguistic definitions? The word is too good not to use for just about anything.

"Dude, what the hell happened at Mike's party last night?"
"I don't know man, I was fucking perished!"

"Um, Mitch, what happened to the last frozen pizza?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was mine. I perished it."

"God, I'm so exhausted tonight."
"I know, I just kinda want to perish in front of the TV for a while."

"What happened to the Donners?"
"Um, they perished."

So go ahead, spread it. Spread it in the tender, viral way that a whore spreads her legs. Now go forth, and perish... in a good way... sorta...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Holy Awesome Crap


If you value love, peace, and laughter, I have a link for you. If you are one of those people who lists "love" "peace" and "laughter" as interests on your facebook page, you are a moron. Stop being a moron.

If you also value raunchiness it's even better.

http://www.punchrobert.com/#vids

Go to Carnival Performances to start with. Then I recommend Dancer Face. After that, work your way through at your own delicious leisure...

DING DING DING DA DING DING DA DING DING